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| someone, i'm calling out to you.... please come and help me. i just need an ear to hear me and arms to comfort my needs. i just feel so stuck get me out of this hell hole. when is the light coming in? when will the rain stop falling | | |
| a lot of thoughts came to me in a little while. i wondered why people care so much about others and what they wear, what actions they take when it doesnt even apply to them. i found myself stuck in that world too, but you know, its just a life of jealousy and hatred towards everything. you can never findyourself satisfied. and after finding out all that i could lose with that....i'm trying a different path. thinking the worst of things, has kept me from loving and from being able to open up. i've been stuck hating and thinking the worst possible things, but i need to just chill out. i need to figure out what i have in my life and trust that it's always going to be that way until paths go into different directions and we can no longer go in the same way together. im sorry, causei know i messed up so many times. i need to look twoards the good. woo sah. heres to a brighter future....someone kick me if i start rearing towards the old ways | | |
| "sometimes it's hard, when youre so deep inside. to see all you can lose, in the blink of an eye. dreams could be shattered, you could be gone. how would i survive, when you're where i belong. my sould believer, without you, i dont' know who i would be
underneath, i can feel you move through me. inside out, you surround me. i breathe you like im taking my last breath, you're everything i know... so how could i let you go" | | |
| sometimes, life just gets crazy, like you don't know which way to go. its hard to listen to your heart when your brain and others are telling you something else....or maybe its the other way around...who cares. definetly not me obviously. i've been driving myself crazy lately...you know. im just looking for someone to talk to. lord knows i have so much to say, but i need someone whos willing to listen and respond back so that it can continue to flow. i cant sleep rightnow, got all riled up, so irritating. i was perfectly fine til you had to ruin it. now im left with six hours of sleep left and the time is countin down.
i always say i hate people that are fake, but maybe i'm the fake one. but see if we werent fake, we'd hate on everyone and be bitchin at the person right in front of them everyday. i think the world would hate one another. but there are those occasional queers that seem to just be plain ol' nice with no ulterior motive. but i swear in the end, those are the people who become crazy.... keep it all bottled up inside themselves.
watched honey last night, motivated me to go clubbin with my best friend. i need to break out of my shell and become the old me again. not some married ol' woman with no friends. haha. i guess a little fun without the boy once in awhile ain't gonna hurt since he smokes with his friends everyday. but everyones been going clubin' lately, too bad they leaving us youngin's behind.
wanted to go stockton for thanksgiving, but sorry janelle, i dont think i'll have enough money this year, but defintly next year we will party it up in your house come thanksgiving 2006. haha damn long time from now...
i gotta write a lot of words to get everythign off my mind before i go to sleep, so sorry if the entry is soo damn long. | | |
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